i just find that i'm using the space from whinning more than i should.
i just can't help it. there is nothing, basically nothing to blog about everyday coz im stuck at work doing tons of paperwork which i find it super troubling.

anyway, the fasting month is already here and soon will be syawal. belief it or not, time flies really fast when you are not really looking at it.

and today, i just want to die. My application for diploma in early childhood was rejected. it was unsuccessful and the feeling sucks. Yesterday i declined an offer to become a pt-teacher over at this school and come on!! yesterday i rejected a one in a life time offer and now, my application for diploma is being rejected.

now, i want to quit my current office job. it defeats the whole purpose. i switched industry coz i thought that once my application is being approved and i for sure need lots of money and guess what time fail on me so did my fate!

i want to go back to where i belong. i'm irritating right now.
fuck it.


I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY I WANT IN LIFE?????
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY AM I TREATING EVERYONE LIKE THIS?????
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY AM I HAVING THIS STUPID MOOD SWING???
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHO WOULD REALLY UNDERSTAND ME???

I REALLY DO KNOW THAT I'M BEING AN ASS NOW.
OUH. GOD.















omg
its been close to two weeks since i left my blog just like that. rotting away in the bloggersphere. yeah, i know u can call me lazy and wats not but my job is killing me big time mann.
couldn't really think straight on wat to blog about. i have toooooooooo many things going inside my head. i have toooooooooooo many say that i want to say and i really think i should do a private blog to let go some of my 'personal feelings' well, hows that?

my current site is now at Sengkang and i also go home like orang terkakang! cb. the ezlink card fare is slaughtering me alive. imagine from chinatown to sengkang cost u 1.60, and imagine frm sengkang to bukit panjang, like wtf!

i was looking at some photos on tagged, i realised something. i wasn't really the first afterall.
gee, i think i know why. now should i question whether im saving the heart for the right people or not.

its not fun being trapped like this, u dont really know your direction and aiming. not even the bulleyes. idk. Yes, i know, im being very pissy right now, but who cares. The last three days was a nightmare for me. it sucks big time. i don't get sales. i don't seems to please myself, things dont go the way i want them to be, and irritate the hell out of me when it comes to 'her', Fcuk or what mann?!

aiyahh. if things are meant to be that way, than u know what i should just stop whinning.
and what? i'm SKII at work, yes give me that stupid reaction again people. -___________-

i want to go back to school. i hate working life.


i feel like smacking someone right on his/her face. im so fucking angry now. i'm so mad that i want to scream in the middle of the night. i want the whole residential knows that i'm fucking mad. i want to roar like a lioness protecting its cub from some wolves. urgh! i'm bloody pissed off. now to me it totally makes sense now. it really do.

what really matters is things dont matter anymore. can someone please be my punching bag now. i really want to punch hard. i want to kick some's ball. i want to be very violent now. i cannot take it. i've had enough of being littlemissnice with everyone or at least pretending to be.
cb!!!

get away from me now. i need time to think. i really do. there's too many things up there. there's too many things bothering me. i need fresh i mean fresher air. i want a far looooooooong getaway.


currently im down with a verrrrrrrrrrry high fever of 39.4 and my brain is boiling like some soup kambing at west coast foodcenter. God! My tongue taste of medicine and all. My body ache so badly like some old lady trying to do exercise.

i feel like dying now. the doctor suspected that i got myself infected by the Influenza A (H1N1), i mean how worst can i get besides being on 7 days MC. im sad. Me no like~


i know i know i've abandon my blog like no one business. i mean come on larh, im too tired to update. The job that i've got is taking most of my time. Heels are killing me. Formal wear sucks coz im running out of them very soon, in like 1 day time? haha. I'm bored of my Agnes B beg, im bored of my Guess pumps, im bored with my Mondo high heels i want something more than all this. *whine mode*

Anyway, i know my blog is getting kinda dry coz i've got nothing much to update larh. Told you that my work is taking up most of my time. Chey.


no larh, anyway, this is lukmanul haqim, i know i know he's name is soooooooooo sedap macam mintak kena sepak okay. He lovees to bully me like no one business. kncb. very damn slumber i tell you, he will go randomly terkejut kan me than i will start to melatah like some makcik at pasar, siak right?

and lukmanul haqim, i'll make you one of the reason, i mean the biggest reason, why i should lose more weight. So that you won't pinch my fats when you get aggitated by me lorh. lol. I'll be so skinny like papan, then padan muke you. but on the actual fact, i can't be skinny till that extend or my mummy will jump on me like how my first sister kena.


this is what you call 'step handsome' abeh muke mintak kena sepak.dot.com. guess larh which one is him. yes, i know he look very chinese eh? Honestly, he look good in this picture larh.

So how how how? club per end of the month lukman? Geram je eh? Two months tao dh puase from clubbing. Your treat right?! *sungguh macam paham, this part* Lukmanul haqim treated me Nasi Ayam Penyet at Changi
Village!!!!! At last dapat makan. Thanks to him. I owe you a big one. No, i think i'll be dead by next week coz it's his turn to ketok me like no one business.

im going to play badminton later with Ajit Dearest. Burning all this fats very fast! Lets just see who's better now.
Im the Progol while Ajit is the Pro in badminton which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not fair(!!!!!!!!!!!!) im angry on that. I'll update later with all the picture of us playing badminton yeah? See the hand urh.






I was watching Gila Gila Pengantin Remaja(GGPR) when the theme song reminded me of you. Gee, i miss you a lot. I miss the way you sing the theme song with all your expression in your face. I don't know. It's been weeks since i last saw you. I'm feeling super down(?) now.

I just can't describe what i feel. Im not even near happy or sad? I feel kind of pissed of that i didn't even get any getwell soon messages from you. Am i not important anymore? (yeah, you gonna say that your ppd low; i know.)and I mean, am i thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss invisible to people or what?

i don't why but i think you don't care anymore. you forget me when you're out with your friends. One freaking phone call a day? that's the best you can do? Why well done! i don't feel like talking to you. i'm not your priority anymore am i? Why is everyone turning their back against me?

Even my parents neglect me when im sick after this surgery. How i wish grandma and grandpa (Especially Grandpa) is still living with me. I miss grandpa asking me to eat my medication everytime before i go to sleep. I miss grandpa asking me to cook for him Maggie at 3am in the morning. I miss grandpa smile. I'm down with fever of 38.6 degrees right now, Still no one cares! suckers. Oh ya! i forgot, im invisible.

now, luqman is so sweet my foot. he wants to buy me a teddy(which i insisted) from "build-a-bear" but with his freaking name on it, loser sia.

PERIOD.


Praises to god! Today was the day that I went to remove my arch bars in my mouth and I was put through general anesthesia. The surgery went smoothly except there were a slight glitch where my parents need to sign some consent form and both of them are at work.

Even my 25 years old sister isn’t allowed to sign that form. Due to that, daddy had to rush down from work (lucky thing that he works in Tanglin area) thus it’s quite near to the hospital.

I went through a bout 2 hours of surgery. My condition was quite stable after the surgery but still I had low blood pressure and had to drink Supppper sweet Milo for sugar intake.

Currently, I am at home and was discharged today itself because doctor thinks that my condition was rather stable. Everything was fine and clear
My gums are very swollen just like I expected. There’s blood every time I brush my teeth. I’m not able to chew and currently on semi-solid food intake or liquid intake. Gonna rest now.

Btw, I will be having a job interview this coming Monday at Mosque St. which also happens that I don’t even know where the fuck is Mosque St. Who cares? I just need a job now. Ouh god please let me at least have a stable job.

And when about I feel that I could do something good later on with a very stable job and all, I received a message on my mobile phone which makes me contemplate. @ 1208a.m I received a text message from Starbucks Samuel:

I’m going to slp. But before I slp, I just thought I msg you first. If you want to come back, what kind of assurance and guarantee I have that the store or myself will not be taken advantage again. Please think carefully & consider carefully. If you can’t commit, I rather we keep our relationship as friends. I also need that can contribute shifts. I apologize for being so direct & honest, because too many people in the store are taking advantage of me just like you know. It’s time fore me to make a stand. I hope you that you understand. Work is work.

So if I were to join back Starbucks, the chances of helping Jill get a job in my store would be higher right? Would it? I don’t know. I’ll wait till Monday and then I’ll reply to Samuel’s message.

If I do reply, what guarantee can I give him and James? Gee, that’s another hard one.

i just find that i'm using the space from whinning more than i should.
i just can't help it. there is nothing, basically nothing to blog about everyday coz im stuck at work doing tons of paperwork which i find it super troubling.

anyway, the fasting month is already here and soon will be syawal. belief it or not, time flies really fast when you are not really looking at it.

and today, i just want to die. My application for diploma in early childhood was rejected. it was unsuccessful and the feeling sucks. Yesterday i declined an offer to become a pt-teacher over at this school and come on!! yesterday i rejected a one in a life time offer and now, my application for diploma is being rejected.

now, i want to quit my current office job. it defeats the whole purpose. i switched industry coz i thought that once my application is being approved and i for sure need lots of money and guess what time fail on me so did my fate!

i want to go back to where i belong. i'm irritating right now.
fuck it.


I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT EXACTLY I WANT IN LIFE?????
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY AM I TREATING EVERYONE LIKE THIS?????
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY AM I HAVING THIS STUPID MOOD SWING???
I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHO WOULD REALLY UNDERSTAND ME???

I REALLY DO KNOW THAT I'M BEING AN ASS NOW.
OUH. GOD.















omg
its been close to two weeks since i left my blog just like that. rotting away in the bloggersphere. yeah, i know u can call me lazy and wats not but my job is killing me big time mann.
couldn't really think straight on wat to blog about. i have toooooooooo many things going inside my head. i have toooooooooooo many say that i want to say and i really think i should do a private blog to let go some of my 'personal feelings' well, hows that?

my current site is now at Sengkang and i also go home like orang terkakang! cb. the ezlink card fare is slaughtering me alive. imagine from chinatown to sengkang cost u 1.60, and imagine frm sengkang to bukit panjang, like wtf!

i was looking at some photos on tagged, i realised something. i wasn't really the first afterall.
gee, i think i know why. now should i question whether im saving the heart for the right people or not.

its not fun being trapped like this, u dont really know your direction and aiming. not even the bulleyes. idk. Yes, i know, im being very pissy right now, but who cares. The last three days was a nightmare for me. it sucks big time. i don't get sales. i don't seems to please myself, things dont go the way i want them to be, and irritate the hell out of me when it comes to 'her', Fcuk or what mann?!

aiyahh. if things are meant to be that way, than u know what i should just stop whinning.
and what? i'm SKII at work, yes give me that stupid reaction again people. -___________-

i want to go back to school. i hate working life.


i feel like smacking someone right on his/her face. im so fucking angry now. i'm so mad that i want to scream in the middle of the night. i want the whole residential knows that i'm fucking mad. i want to roar like a lioness protecting its cub from some wolves. urgh! i'm bloody pissed off. now to me it totally makes sense now. it really do.

what really matters is things dont matter anymore. can someone please be my punching bag now. i really want to punch hard. i want to kick some's ball. i want to be very violent now. i cannot take it. i've had enough of being littlemissnice with everyone or at least pretending to be.
cb!!!

get away from me now. i need time to think. i really do. there's too many things up there. there's too many things bothering me. i need fresh i mean fresher air. i want a far looooooooong getaway.


currently im down with a verrrrrrrrrrry high fever of 39.4 and my brain is boiling like some soup kambing at west coast foodcenter. God! My tongue taste of medicine and all. My body ache so badly like some old lady trying to do exercise.

i feel like dying now. the doctor suspected that i got myself infected by the Influenza A (H1N1), i mean how worst can i get besides being on 7 days MC. im sad. Me no like~


i know i know i've abandon my blog like no one business. i mean come on larh, im too tired to update. The job that i've got is taking most of my time. Heels are killing me. Formal wear sucks coz im running out of them very soon, in like 1 day time? haha. I'm bored of my Agnes B beg, im bored of my Guess pumps, im bored with my Mondo high heels i want something more than all this. *whine mode*

Anyway, i know my blog is getting kinda dry coz i've got nothing much to update larh. Told you that my work is taking up most of my time. Chey.


no larh, anyway, this is lukmanul haqim, i know i know he's name is soooooooooo sedap macam mintak kena sepak okay. He lovees to bully me like no one business. kncb. very damn slumber i tell you, he will go randomly terkejut kan me than i will start to melatah like some makcik at pasar, siak right?

and lukmanul haqim, i'll make you one of the reason, i mean the biggest reason, why i should lose more weight. So that you won't pinch my fats when you get aggitated by me lorh. lol. I'll be so skinny like papan, then padan muke you. but on the actual fact, i can't be skinny till that extend or my mummy will jump on me like how my first sister kena.


this is what you call 'step handsome' abeh muke mintak kena sepak.dot.com. guess larh which one is him. yes, i know he look very chinese eh? Honestly, he look good in this picture larh.

So how how how? club per end of the month lukman? Geram je eh? Two months tao dh puase from clubbing. Your treat right?! *sungguh macam paham, this part* Lukmanul haqim treated me Nasi Ayam Penyet at Changi
Village!!!!! At last dapat makan. Thanks to him. I owe you a big one. No, i think i'll be dead by next week coz it's his turn to ketok me like no one business.

im going to play badminton later with Ajit Dearest. Burning all this fats very fast! Lets just see who's better now.
Im the Progol while Ajit is the Pro in badminton which is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not fair(!!!!!!!!!!!!) im angry on that. I'll update later with all the picture of us playing badminton yeah? See the hand urh.






I was watching Gila Gila Pengantin Remaja(GGPR) when the theme song reminded me of you. Gee, i miss you a lot. I miss the way you sing the theme song with all your expression in your face. I don't know. It's been weeks since i last saw you. I'm feeling super down(?) now.

I just can't describe what i feel. Im not even near happy or sad? I feel kind of pissed of that i didn't even get any getwell soon messages from you. Am i not important anymore? (yeah, you gonna say that your ppd low; i know.)and I mean, am i thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssss invisible to people or what?

i don't why but i think you don't care anymore. you forget me when you're out with your friends. One freaking phone call a day? that's the best you can do? Why well done! i don't feel like talking to you. i'm not your priority anymore am i? Why is everyone turning their back against me?

Even my parents neglect me when im sick after this surgery. How i wish grandma and grandpa (Especially Grandpa) is still living with me. I miss grandpa asking me to eat my medication everytime before i go to sleep. I miss grandpa asking me to cook for him Maggie at 3am in the morning. I miss grandpa smile. I'm down with fever of 38.6 degrees right now, Still no one cares! suckers. Oh ya! i forgot, im invisible.

now, luqman is so sweet my foot. he wants to buy me a teddy(which i insisted) from "build-a-bear" but with his freaking name on it, loser sia.

PERIOD.


Praises to god! Today was the day that I went to remove my arch bars in my mouth and I was put through general anesthesia. The surgery went smoothly except there were a slight glitch where my parents need to sign some consent form and both of them are at work.

Even my 25 years old sister isn’t allowed to sign that form. Due to that, daddy had to rush down from work (lucky thing that he works in Tanglin area) thus it’s quite near to the hospital.

I went through a bout 2 hours of surgery. My condition was quite stable after the surgery but still I had low blood pressure and had to drink Supppper sweet Milo for sugar intake.

Currently, I am at home and was discharged today itself because doctor thinks that my condition was rather stable. Everything was fine and clear
My gums are very swollen just like I expected. There’s blood every time I brush my teeth. I’m not able to chew and currently on semi-solid food intake or liquid intake. Gonna rest now.

Btw, I will be having a job interview this coming Monday at Mosque St. which also happens that I don’t even know where the fuck is Mosque St. Who cares? I just need a job now. Ouh god please let me at least have a stable job.

And when about I feel that I could do something good later on with a very stable job and all, I received a message on my mobile phone which makes me contemplate. @ 1208a.m I received a text message from Starbucks Samuel:

I’m going to slp. But before I slp, I just thought I msg you first. If you want to come back, what kind of assurance and guarantee I have that the store or myself will not be taken advantage again. Please think carefully & consider carefully. If you can’t commit, I rather we keep our relationship as friends. I also need that can contribute shifts. I apologize for being so direct & honest, because too many people in the store are taking advantage of me just like you know. It’s time fore me to make a stand. I hope you that you understand. Work is work.

So if I were to join back Starbucks, the chances of helping Jill get a job in my store would be higher right? Would it? I don’t know. I’ll wait till Monday and then I’ll reply to Samuel’s message.

If I do reply, what guarantee can I give him and James? Gee, that’s another hard one.

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